When I was training for my half marathon over the summer and into the fall, I was so excited. Every run brought me closer to a really amazing goal I had set for myself, I enjoyed running in new territory (lengths) every week with my long runs, and I looked forward to lacing up and heading out.
This time around, I’ve been struggling. I haven’t been enjoying my runs. They’ve been painful, exhausting, and seemingly endless–and I haven’t really had any actual LONG runs! I chalk it up to the fact that it’s cold, and I let myself get out of shape.
Tonight, I had my first enjoyable run. The hill leading out from my house was a little rough, but the rest of the run was awesome. I felt freer than I have felt on any training run this far. I was a little nostalgic too. I envisioned my marathon. I thought about the people in my life who can’t run and never will again. I chanted their names in rhythm with my footsteps, and it was encouraging. I imagined those people mid-course holding signs that say things like “my daughter runs for me” or “run while you can” as they sit, incapacitated, in their wheelchairs. I even picture my twin brother standing with our parents with a sign that reads “my sister’s a friggin’ show off”…lol!
I’m happy to have finally had a good run. I wish I had had time to do another mile or so. I didn’t want to stop! I may just be getting my groove back, and that’s a good thing because I’ve been questioning whether or not I could actually complete a marathon since I started training 3 weeks ago. The seed had been planted; I was just waiting for it to germinate. It may finally be pushing its fragile self to the surface after all. 🙂
On a side note: my mom is still in the hospital. Nursing home, actually. She is still working at being rehabilitated enough to go home. I fear it may never happen. She’s been in the hospital/rehab/now nursing home since Oct. 8. She had a doctor’s appointment today and was informed that she will need to have stents put in her legs. Her feet are not healing properly (diabetic/kidney failure=poor circulation=foot problems). Hopefully, blood flow will be restored, and she will begin to heal. Back in May, my dad had this problem, and it was never rectified. He is now a double amputee. Mom has a better shot, but we will have to wait and see.
They are the reason I run. I’ve said it before, and I will say it again (and again, and again, and again). I weighed almost 300 pounds, and I was going to die. Not soon, but sooner than I should. And painfully. Watching my vibrant parents become bedridden made me change my ways. 1. I didn’t want to end up like them. 2. I wanted them to know that I wouldn’t end up like them. They are so proud of the way I have turned my life around. Especially my mom. She has confided several times that if she had known how things would end up, she would have taken better care of herself and that she’s so happy that I AM doing just that.
I love those goofy people, and I wish I could have them around longer (and healthier), but it is what it is. I’ll be spending as much of the holiday with them as I can. Christmas break starts Friday at 12:30, but we are supposed to get some snow and ice tonight, so I may be off until January!
Keep running! It’s so worth it! 🙂